I tried to start the day today with good intentions (you know how that goes) but it ended up being a long drawn out discussion (and I use that term with the best meaning) with my son who did not like being woke up to a change. Now mind you, it’s not like I was going to make him do extra chores or make him do extra school work. No, what I had planned on doing today is to start us all to work out together. Because #1: He has elevated cholesterol, #2 he and I both could lose weight, #3 I wanted him to start down a better path than I am on myself, and lastly #4 I wanted us to do it as a family. He was having none of it this morning. Things escalated and well…needless to say…we ended up arguing.
I admit I am not the most cool headed person in the world and I know I should have left it be. But I could not. I blame myself because I should have handled it better. I mean really who’s the adult here…right? But there are times where we can’t help it even as adults to act like kids and in this instance I did. Am I ashamed? No. Have I learned anything from this? Yes. Does that soothe any kind of hurt feelings on either side? Not really. Do I regret having the argument with him and not trying to avoid it? Yes I most certainly do!!
I know as he gets older it’s going to be a lot harder than it is now but I hope in my heart of hearts that we will avoid this. I am trying as a parent to be better but some times I wonder if I am living up to what I should be as a parent. I wonder if I am doing right by my kids. I have even started questioning homeschooling my kids even though I love them here. I still believe in my heart I am doing the right things but sometimes I can’t help but wonder.
A few days ago me and my husband were out with the kids doing some shopping. While my husband was in line to check out, an older gentleman complemented my kids on having good manners. Now as a parent that was one of the best things a stranger could say about my kids because it means that I’m doing something right as a parent. But when I think about it, I begin to wonder…have kids lost the respect or is it just because no one teaches them anymore?
I think it is honestly people have lost what it means to respect one another. Then in the same regard kids never learn what it means to respect someone because we do not teach them. I’m not saying all kids are like this but it seems more and more kids do not have the simple manners that we learned growing up. Maybe it’s because we as parents forget in order to get respect you must have respect.
Now I’ll be honest , my kids are not perfect. They have their moments when they are rude and disrespectful…I mean they are human…but they learn from those moments. Because I correct them before it goes any further and I learn how to be less rude myself while I’m teaching them. I take the time to make sure they know the only way they get respect is to have respect. I also teach them not to allow anyone to step on them. I teach them how to fight back not just with fists but first and foremost with words.
I make sure my kids say Yes ma’am/sir and thank you for everything not because I am being strict but because it was what I was taught. It was what was expected when I was growing up from all kids or at least the ones I was around. More and more though I think parents are forgetting that manners and respect get you further than disrespect. Or maybe it’s because parents do not have the time to spend teach their kids because of bills, work, being tired…etc . I really do not know and I do not judge because it’s hard to raise kids. I know that as well as anyone reading this.
I hope more parents start to realize that respect and manners are more important than disrespect and maybe it won’t be a surprise when I hear people complimenting kids.