I tried to start the day today with good intentions (you know how that goes) but it ended up being a long drawn out discussion (and I use that term with the best meaning) with my son who did not like being woke up to a change. Now mind you, it’s not like I was going to make him do extra chores or make him do extra school work. No, what I had planned on doing today is to start us all to work out together. Because #1: He has elevated cholesterol, #2 he and I both could lose weight, #3 I wanted him to start down a better path than I am on myself, and lastly #4 I wanted us to do it as a family. He was having none of it this morning. Things escalated and well…needless to say…we ended up arguing.
I admit I am not the most cool headed person in the world and I know I should have left it be. But I could not. I blame myself because I should have handled it better. I mean really who’s the adult here…right? But there are times where we can’t help it even as adults to act like kids and in this instance I did. Am I ashamed? No. Have I learned anything from this? Yes. Does that soothe any kind of hurt feelings on either side? Not really. Do I regret having the argument with him and not trying to avoid it? Yes I most certainly do!!
I know as he gets older it’s going to be a lot harder than it is now but I hope in my heart of hearts that we will avoid this. I am trying as a parent to be better but some times I wonder if I am living up to what I should be as a parent. I wonder if I am doing right by my kids. I have even started questioning homeschooling my kids even though I love them here. I still believe in my heart I am doing the right things but sometimes I can’t help but wonder.