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wounds

some are small
some are large
some heal
others never do
some are seen
worn on the sleeve
others never show
driving deep
like a puncture
to the soul
©MGA

Let Go

Holding on
tears falling down
knowing you don’t see
not because you don’t see
just because you don’t know
actions hurt
but words stick
just wanting to let go
waiting for the day
hoping for the day
needing to heal
but only one can do it
waiting to let go

©MGA 2017

 

Why?

Honestly I wonder why I try to make an attempt to rebuild burned bridges. I honestly try to make amends but when I make the attempt it seems that I am being pulled back into a ridiculous, nonsense, stressful situation. I feel I am being manipulated all over again so this person can get what they want or just for them to cause chaos in my life because I am in a better place then I used be. That they just want to pull me back down into the muck and make me what I used to be. Their jealousy is so strong. I love them so much but this last time I went to visit I could just feel the manipulation in everything they said. I find out everything we talked about was twisted and turned into something that none of it was meant to be. I should’ve learned but what can I say, maybe I’m a glutton for punishment…? I am not going to let them drag me back. I am not going to fall into those destructive habits. I am a better, stronger person. But it is so hard when it is someone you love and care about so much and they know it and use that to make your own self doubts and insecurities come out. Sigh…not much can be done.

All I know is burned once, burned twice it can be forgotten. Burned three times then I am the fool. I won’t be doing it a third time.

There’s an old saying…..

Why is it when a person does well at something there are always those that want to bring them down? Why can’t they be happy for that person or proud of that person? This has always puzzled me. I mean I guess I can understand that they get upset or frustrated with their lot in life. But what I don’t understand is why do you hate someone that is doing well?  I don’t mean rich (but that’s no excuse either) but someone that is just like them and are able to hold their head up and say “yes I did it”. Why would you try to drag them down just to make them miserable? This, I just do not get. I guess it’s human nature maybe. I don’t know. I guess maybe I still have a lot to learn. Maybe I will never understand, I mean I am almost 40…lol!! But I guess it is true….the best revenge is living well. So that is what I will do. I will continue to live my life. I will continue to live as well as my choices allow me to.