Ok maybe I am being a little harsh and this might be a bit of an oxymoron in the sense I am on my laptop at 5:30 in the morning typing this post up…but really can we all just shut everything off for a little bit. Have we really got to a point where all we can do is stare at screens all day and not realize what is going on in the world around us? I know it’s hard. I am very guilty in the sense that I am on my computer a lot of the day because of work and even when I get off in the afternoon I am back on. I am going to start today after I get off work…to set some time aside without anything on. No TV, smart phone (except for calling), no computer, at least for a couple of hours. I think I am getting too involved with being on line and I think it is effecting my take on things. I don’t like the way it has started to influence my thinking. So everyday at least for the month of June, I am going to do that. I am going shut the @#$% thing of 😛
I started this blog as a place to voice my feelings. A place to open up and just spill my guts out and not worry so much about what anyone thinks. Then it changed and I added things to it. I then started sharing my weight loss journey, which I received encouragement and help. Then I started opening up about my journey to get where I am now. But what I did not expect was to open old wounds when doing so. Or having to deal with other issues outside that made it more difficult. Needless to say I am still here 🙂
I have rediscovered myself in a new way and considering I will be hitting the big 4-0 in a few weeks I am realizing that the things in the past, no matter if they come back into your memories or not, are in the past. We cannot change the things that have happened. We can only work hard not to repeat them. We can either hold grudges toward people or move on. We can either allow all the things that have happened to eat us up inside or accept that they made us the people we are, for better or worse. We are what we choose to be not what things have made us. We try to set an example for our children and hope they don’t make the mistakes we have but in the end they have to make those choices as well. Life is about choices. We make them no one else does.
I also did some soul searching. I know I have preached it that only we are responsible for the choices we make. But I’ll be honest, I did not do as I preached. It’s hard to say that because I don’t like being a hypocrite. I paid the price though. As I said above, I opened a few old wounds because of it. I literally just ripped the scab right off and poured salt on it. Why? Because I started blaming other people for my choices. I blamed them for things that went wrong because I could not face the fact that it was my fault. But you know what…I stopped. I started thinking about everything…and in that moment of clarity I realized I am not perfect. I am human. It is hard to describe the feeling that I felt at that moment. Because right then and there I stopped and realized the past is gone. No matter how much we want to change it we can’t. Anything we did has been done. You can express regret and ask for forgiveness, but in the end you have to let it go. Even if the person or persons that were part of it can’t. This part of my life, I have shut the book on. I may go back occasionally and hit the highlights but I am not going back there again.
I will be making some changes to my blog in the next few weeks. Nothing major, just things for me. Hopefully, I won’t lose any of you. But if you do go hopefully you will make your way back. Until next time…Namaste.
Hi all!! Sorry I have not been blogging of late. I have not been the best blogger around 😦 I have not been too good health wise and then everything else. It’d been a long few days and hopefully we all got over the hump.
My health went from having allergy issues to having a full blown cold (which I am getting over). It was awful between the sneezing and dizziness I don’t know which was worse…ugh!! Then on top of that my sciatic nerve decided it wanted to act up. And as anyone who has a sciatic nerve issue knows how painful that is. Every time I moved the pain would go all the way up my back to the tips of my toes. :O
Well on to better things, looks like we are able to get a new roof on the house. Finally the insurance agreed and we will be getting a new one installed in the next week or so. I am so glad for that. It was about time. The last storm we had I guess was the last straw for the insurance and they agreed. YAY!!
My kids are basically finished for the school year and we are planning for the following year. My daughter is going to be in the 7th grade and my son is starting High School next year. OMG!!! It’s hard to imagine when I look at my kids to believe how tiny they were. Now they are almost adults. My daughter is discovering what she truly is capable of. I love to watch her do her work because she still has that “little girl” surprise about things when she discovers new things. But she tries so hard to act like an “adult”…lol!!! My son is so ready to get into the 9th grade. He is going to start on the Honor’s Courses this year and will continue through High School. He is so determined to be the best but he still “needs” mama even though it might be a little grudgingly…lol!!
Well looks like I’m back in the blogsphere…my regular posts will start tomorrow. I hope I still have you all around. Have a great day everyone!!!
Here’s to the final countdown!! Have a great Monday!!
The smell of pine needles, spruce and the smell of a Christmas tree – those to me, are the scents of the holidays.
Hope your week has been amazing so far!! We almost at the end…make it great!!
Christmas is, of course, the time to be home – in heart as well as body.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! I wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas!!! I hope you all have an amazing day!!
Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!
Today so far has been a wonderful day. The kids (big and small 🙂 ) are all in great moods and I feel amazing. It’s been a few days since I actually felt good. I think the weather cleared all of the pollen and pollution out of the air and has settled a bit and all of my weather pains have gone away. I’m sitting here looking at a beautiful sunny day and thinking how lucky I am. Sometimes in the hustle and bustle of life we forget what it means to be grateful. Sometimes we have to slow down and look around to see what is there in front of us. Today is that day for me 🙂 I am thankful for my family. I am thankful for my health and my family’s health. I am thankful I have a roof over my head. I am thankful I am here.