Hey everyone! I know I have not been the best blogger of late. I have not been keeping up with all my updates and everything. I am sorry. I could tell you it’s because I have been doing so much and just did not have the time (that’s partially true). Or I could tell you I just did not have anything to write about. Or even still I could tell you I was just tired of it and needed space.
All of it is true and not true.
I have been busy with life and all of the changes that come with it. I have had to make decisions again in my life as to what is important and not so much anymore. As I said in a previous post I was going back to a place that I no longer wanted to be but I could feel myself slipping down again. So I had to take a step back and do some major soul searching. I had to come to a realization I was more important then what anyone could say or do. I found a few things when doing that:
I am me. No one can change me except me.
People will always be envious. I don’t say everyone does it intentionally sometimes it’s unintentional. I feel that way as well sometimes. It’s natural. But how you treat people is up to you
Not everyone has your best interests at heart…even if they love you.
Life is too short to really care about what the haters think.
Things usually are not as bad as they seem and they can always be worse then what they are.
I know most of these are givens and I know everyone will agree that we all can use improvements. I am trying to make a better me. Maybe I am trying to hard but I don’t think so. I look at myself now and what I was 12 or 13 years ago and I see how far I have come. It’s not been an easy trip. I have had to leave things behind. But when I look at them now…I realize how unimportant they were. But I also realize without those things I would not be the person I am now.
Of every exercise I have done in my life, I always come back to yoga. If I injure myself, I need to center myself, I need to de-stress…whatever it is I always come back to yoga. I am not a professional. I have never taken a class of yoga. And I most certainly have not followed the trends of yoga. I started out doing yoga from a book that my mom literally bought to keep me out of her hair…lol!! I was around 8 years old. It was a book of yoga for kids that was “animal yoga”. It made it fun and appealing. It made it something as a kid I could enjoy. I did that yoga for probably 4 0r 5 years, then I just stopped. I lost interest and being a teenager did not care about it.
I did not do yoga again until after I graduated high school. When I graduated high school, I dealt with a lot of issues all at once. Graduating early, starting college, family issues, and teenage hormones…among other things. I lost my balance…my center. I lost a lot of weight. I was not physically healthy. I was 16, 5’7 and 115 pounds. I was not starving myself. I did not have an eating disorder. I found out I had a vitamin deficiency that pretty much prevented me from gaining weight properly. My mom took me to our family doctor and they helped me regain what I should have had. I started taking a regiment of vitamins and within 3 months I went from 115 pounds to 135. I was a lot healthier but still did not have that mental balance…a center if you would. This went on a few more months. I still exercised but it was not the same. It was like something was missing…until I rediscovered yoga. I was at a library book sale and I found an old yoga book by Raquel Welch – Raquel: The Raquel Welch Total Beauty and Fitness Program. I was like ok we’ll give a try again. It felt amazing to be able to do it again. As corny as it sounds, it was like yeah this is what I should be doing….lol. So I used that book until I after I was married…probably around 22 or 23.
Well yesterday, October 24, was my 38th birthday!!! Hard to imagine that I am now 38. I mean really, I’m 38. I’m not really sure if I should feel different or not. All I know is that the person I am at 38 is a lot better than the person I was at 28. I mean wasn’t a bad person back then but I was so angry, tense and frustrated. I was so confused and I hate to say even lost. But 10 years later I am a better person, a better mom, and a better wife. I know it sounds like I am patting myself on the back and making it sound like I’m perfect, believe me I am not, but I can honestly say I have become a better person and I know I have a long way to go. It’s all about learning about yourself and making yourself better everyday. You have to take it day by day. You have to understand you are not perfect and will make mistakes. How you deal with those mistakes makes you the person you become in the end. So as of today, I am starting a whole new year for myself. I will make myself better. I will be better for my kids, my husband, and most of all for myself. Happy Birthday to me!!!
Well needless to say my baby is growing up. Yesterday was her 11th b-day. She is my youngest and she has changed so much and she has so much to go. As I am looking at my beautiful baby I see all the potential and promise in the world. Now all she has to do is go for it…and I am sure she will!! 😀
HAPPY B-DAY BABY!!! I know you will do everything you set your mind to!!! 😀