Acceptance

Love yourself

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I have been reading a lot of articles lately about women discovering how much they love themselves. Some have been great articles about women discovering how much they forgot about themselves and are rediscovering themselves. Then I read those articles about women (in my opinion and only apparently in my opinion) where they are not discovering themselves but rather it seems are giving up on themselves. This seems to me not so much that they are loving themselves but rather telling themselves they can do no better and have to accept that there is no alternative to their situation. I am surprised how much women (again in my opinion) tend to take themselves in such disregard and not care what happens. They think or accept in some cases that they have no alternative. There is always an alternative to any situation, but it is up to the person to make that decision for themselves.

Sometimes it takes something to happen to make you realize you have to change. It did for me. It took me to almost reach 190 pounds (I know it does not seem like a lot but it was for me) and my doctor tell me she was going to put me cholesterol meds. It took me to realize that if I did not change I would have to take pill so I could continue eating myself to death. Then the final straw was when my son went to the doctor and I was told he was overweight. I told myself I had to change…not just for myself but for my son. So I made that choice first for myself (because I have to do it for me) and second for my son (because I have to set the right example for him). It’s not easy. It did not happen overnight. I will not allow it to continue.

The reason I brought this up is because I am so tired of seeing women bash each other because of each other’s decisions. But I also am so tired of seeing people saying how them being fat is perfect or beautiful or healthy…or all the hate being thrown at people who are trying to lose weight to make themselves healthier. If you are happy (no matter your size) great!! I am glad for you. But do not try to convince me that I should be happy when I know my health is at risk because of the extra weight I have put on. Do not try to tell me it is normal for me to be this way and I should accept my curves, or my soft belly, or should be happy because I “look good” for my age. I have heard all this. I am not a self hater. I have a very high self-esteem and do not need anyone to tell me that I look good or that I am just “the right size” for my age, or that I should be “happy I look the way I do” after having two kids. Without sounding cocky or over-confident: I LOVE MYSELF!!  This is the reason I am doing this. Not to fit a certain expectation. I do not want to put some chemical in my body that they really do not have any idea of the long-term effects just because I cannot stop eating. I am not going to allow them to do that to my son. And to be honest, neither should you.

I do not hate on anyone that makes a conscious choice of doing either way. I accept everyone for who they are and what they are. I have been told too many times in my life that I am different, not their type, don’t speak the way they do, don’t dress the way they do…and what ever else. I never fit in anywhere I went. I don’t fit any mold…none of us do!! We are all different!! The bashing of each other should stop…we will not get anywhere with it. Love others….and most of all Love Yourself!!

Positive vibes…that’s all I need

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I am thankful for everything that I have. It took me a long time to get where I am both mentally and physically. I have reached a point in my life that I have accepted myself as to who I am. I have learned that as much as you would like to stay around people because you love and care about them, it might be in your best interest to keep your distance for your own sanity. I’ve had to make choices that 10 yrs ago I did not ever think I would. Does this mean I have taken them completely out of my life? No but what it means is that I limit my exposure. I have also learned that you can’t help anyone who really does not want to be helped no matter how much they need it. Does this mean I stop trying to help people? No but I learned like the old saying ” You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink”. It is so true in so many ways. I also learned not to set you expectations up so high that people can’t live up to them. I was so guilty of this when I was younger. I would always think that when people expected the highest of me I could do likewise. Boy was I wrong. I cannot tell you how many times I was so hurt and disappointed. It made me miserable almost to the point where I thought I was doing something wrong. Finally I came to the realization that no matter what I thought, felt, or did it would never meet their expectations. When that happened, I can’t tell you how amazing it felt. It was like the weight of the world had been removed from my shoulders.

It took a lot of focus and will to get out of that state of mind and the path was probably the rockiest and hardest path I had ever been on to that point. Because no matter how hard I tried, it wanted to suck me back down into old habits. I can’t tell you how easy I would have been to go back down that path. But I haven’t and I won’t. My life and path are so much calmer and peaceful. I feel so amazing. When I think back on what I went through to get this point it was so worth it.

Now I am 38 almost 39 and the person I am is a much better, more stable, more confident person then I was 10 yrs ago. I can look at life so much clearer and not have to wonder if I am meeting someone else’s expectations or trying to match someone else’s opinion of what I should be. I am the only one that is in power of my life and destiny. I do believe the way you feel determines how everything works out….and I feel amazing!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Week 20 – Achievements or not

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Well here I am again. Each week I come and tell you what I have or have not done. This week is not too much different from the previous weeks except, I am improving my flexibility and being able to sleep a lot better at night. Maybe these are not big achievements or at least not what I was aiming for but you know something, as much as I try to center on one thing maybe I am losing sight of what I originally started out to do: To be healthy. Does this mean I am not trying to lose weight? No. Does it mean I am not trying to change bad habits? No. It means the more I think about it, the more I am starting to realize I am missing the small changes that are happening to help the big goal on its way. So with all this said, I am going to stop worrying so much about everything and just stay focused on the long term. But I am going to start paying more attention to all the little things that I have not been 🙂

 

Week 20 Stats:

My age: 38

My height: 5′ 7″

My weight: 179.6 lbs

My bust: 38 in

My waist: 34 in

My Hips: 39 in

Week 18 – ok maybe a little more

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To be honest I know I said “I knew it would be difficult” But honestly I did not know how hard it was. When I was a younger person, if I wanted to drop a few pounds it was so easy, but now as an older person it is almost impossible it seems. I know logically when we are younger our bodies work a lot quicker and I know the food we ate was like it disappeared as soon as we swallowed it….lol!!! But what I did not realize was how much I had let myself go. Not so much because of the weight but because of my activity. In the last 4 and 1/2 months I realize hw much more I did as a young woman then I do now and I am going to get back there.

My age: 38

My height: 5′ 7″

My weight: 179.6 lbs

My bust: 38 in

My waist: 34 in

My Hips: 39 in

Week 16 – Down but not out

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Well here I am. I am at week 16 of my weight loss journey and I am not much better then where I started. I am not depressed, I am just disappointed. I need to get this weight off. I am almost tempted to go back to the old way of dieting but then I think about how many times I have done that and it did me no good. So again, here I am. I am down but I am not out. I will continue…I will not stop.

My age: 38

My height: 5′ 7″

My weight: 183.8 lbs

My bust: 38 in

My waist: 34 in

My Hips: 39 in