By this point in my life, I think I gave up. I think I did not want to try to be better. It felt like this is what happens to everyone after they have kids and get old. You gain weight, you get lazy, and life happens. You try to make excuses, you try to say you don’t have time…but in the end you have to make time. If you don’t you end up sick, injured, or worse…die. I know this sounds morbid but in actuality it’s true. If you don’t make time for yourself, to keep yourself healthy, you will end up in the same place that I am if not worse. I think what really gave me the kick in the a** was when my doctor told me she was going to put me both on blood pressure and cholesterol meds. Even then, it took me a couple of years before I did anything worthwhile to help myself. It was a few years ago, I had some pictures taken and my son told me “you look like mimi (my mom)”. I didn’t pay any attention and just kept doing my thing. Then a couple months after that I saw myself in the mirror…I was like “oh my goodness, I am turning into my mom”. Now before anyone jumps on me and tells me how bad I am being talking about my mom, I am not. My mom even made fun of me and told me herself that I had better do something or I am going to end up like her. Her exact words were: ” I have always been fat. I have never been a small person, but you have. If you keep going the way you are you will have more health issues and physical pain. You need to do something.” I love her more than anything in this world. She is definitely one of a kind!! 🙂
With all this happening I was still in denial. It’s sort of like being an addict I guess. You keep telling yourself I can change at anytime, I can stop at anytime, I’m not _______(fill in the blank). But reality is you can’t unless you make up your mind to do it. So there I was, the heaviest I had ever been in my life, my doctor telling me I have to take meds to save myself (was a shock and turning point in itself), my mom telling me I’m going to be her…but none of it mattered. That is until my son went to the doctor and his doctor told me he has high cholesterol. When his doctor told me that, I knew I had to change. All of the bad habits I developed were being passed on to him. I could not doom my son to bad health the rest of his life. I went back to my basics. As anyone on here that has been reading my posts knows, I started eating better and exercising. I made my son get up and exercise. It made him better. It dropped his cholesterol down (it’s still elevated but it’s a work in progress) and I lost a little weight. But even then I was not complete. I still could not regain that balance. I did start slacking off…as you can go back and look at all my posts. I had to find that balance and I did. I went back to my old friend. She will always be there even when I am not as good a friend. She brings me back my center, control and balance. She never says I can’t do it…she always knows I can.
Which brings me to today. I am at peace, I have balance, and I am in control. I have started doing my yoga on a regular basis again. I have incorporated it into my regular exercise routines that I made for myself. I have learned that if I don’t make time for myself I can’t provide what my family needs as well as what I need. I know a lot of you say, yoga is just exercise. It’s just a means to an end. For me it has been a life saver both mentally and physically. It has given me my strength.